butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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