the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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