this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
