if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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