This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
