i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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