Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize