I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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