don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
