how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
