Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
