I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
either way he was missing a nipple.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
