Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
