I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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