Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
