Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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