the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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