Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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