whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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