doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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