I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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