i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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