my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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