I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
