just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
a search helicopter?!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
