I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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