Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
