bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
