well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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