Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
