Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
