So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
tell me about the fingering
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