So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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