wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
