Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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