oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
