We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
