I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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