Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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