You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
