how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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