is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You may now shotgun with the bride
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
