apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
