new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
