I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
