Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
