If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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