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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
