it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
