Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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