VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think your dad took our porno
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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