who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
