just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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