Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
