; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That's intense
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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