Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
