shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
