Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
