Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
