I think im going to throw up on grandma
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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