the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
