If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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