is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
