sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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