If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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