I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize