I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize