According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
