You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize