Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
