Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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