hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
