How'd it feel making her break her religion?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
