I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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