I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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