Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
